Don't change your name!
Whether you are a tractrix or an arithmetic spiral, please keep your name.
Believe me, the very best thing is to keep on doing stupid things, and you better do them more often than once a week or you will never get your share of them done.
Your indolence would leave more stupid things for me to do, and I am already doing my share and more. Just yesterday, for example, I angered a yuppie in a shiny LEXU$, and he followed me around Venice Florida hollering at me until I had had enough and went off road to find some saner playmates.
When you are finished doing stupid things, you will not actually know about it. People will sit around with long faces, saying nice things about you, and then they will all go out for a drink, and the worst part of that is that they will not take you along.
Hang in there, pal, some of us are actually on your side!