Santa and Clyde's XS1100

[iron_llama]

(From the XS11 list, some of you folks might get a chuckle out of this one...)


SANTA AND CLYDE'S XS

It was the night before Christmas and Santa was freaking
The raindeers' on strike and no one was speaking
Santa runs through the shop screaming "What do I do"
Then Clyde his main elf said, "I got something for you."

Off through the woods to Clyde's private shop they did fly
Huffing and puffing Santa knew he was fixin' to die
Behind an old sleigh stuffed back in the dust
A mighty XS lay covered with rust

Santa looked at Clyde said, "You been on drugs?"
Clyde said UH..I'm sure I can work out the bugs
The jugs, they do weep and the petcock, it drips
Idle's a little weird and the seat's got some rips

The swing arm wobbles, and one side cover is missing
When it first fires up there's lots of clicking and hissing
Left tank badge is gone --- probably never be found
That's oil from the breather tube dripping down to the ground.

Hook up these wires 'cuz I lost the key
I know I can fix it, you can count on me
Santa looked at Clyde like he was deranged
But with a sweep of Clyde's wand, things started to change

The rust disappeared from the paint and the chrome
Both meats were trashed and replaced with Bridgestones
The frame turned shinny black and the tank candy green
Santa's was getting all psyched by the beauty he was seeing.

Blinding was the light that the head lamp now gives
The license plate simply said "Jomoto lives"
"Can this relay work?" Santa thought scratching his rear
"Can 80 some horsepower replace those stinkin' deer?"

Time was running out, childrens' joy was on the line
Can this glistening beast get to all the roof tops on time?
Santa hooked up the wires and choked it a little
Took a deep breath and gave the throttle a tickle

He gave Clyde thumbs up and said goodbye to his wife
A button push later 1096 cc's spring to life
Warming it up, the big multi rumbled and shook
In a matter of seconds old Santa was hooked

All clapped and they cheered as Santa dumped the clutch
Outside the scream of the 4 into ones, Santa didn't hear much
The air turned blue, as tire dust mixed with wood chip "snow"
Santa was on a mission and time was running low

From house to house he flew that night, a grin ear to ear
Knowing there's a 1200 kit if Rudolph strikes again next year
With all the toys passed out by first light Santa gave himself a hand
He said, "I bet I've still time for a lap 'round the Isle of Mann"

So, as those mighty wheels started to spin
"Merry Christmas to all" was heard on the wind
If you think this tale is bogus and if you still need more proof
Explain to your neighbors the oil and skid marks up there on your roof
(the breathers still drip)

(sent by Tkat)

[greywolf]

Things change more a little more south. Same XS11, same month of June, nearly the same place, different years, different snow cover and different farkles.

[water warrior]

Many years ago one of the bike mags had a fantastic pic of an XS1000. Beautiful bike that quickly became the XS ELEVEN when Honda brought out the Wing with 1000 cc's

[greywolf]

I think the pre release info was that it would be a 1000 so the production model being 1101cc could be a surprise. I remember it was the world's fastest production bike for an extremely short time. I think it might have been the introduction of the 1978 Kawasaki lineup that ended that.

[water warrior]

Greywolf, that actually makes more sense. Comparing the Wing to the Yamaha is like comparing apples and oranges.

[greywolf]

The GL1000 debuted in 1975 anyway.The Honda CBX that came out later in 1978 was the bike that exceeded the XS11's performance in the 1/4 mile. The XS11 was the first production bike that ran in the 11s but it wasn't the fastest for long.